Me: Why are the characters doing this?
Melody: PLOT!
Me: Yeah, but... There are better ways to solve this problem. So why are they doing THIS?
Melody: Excitement!
Me: Uh...
Melody: Fine. How about ::whispers something truly sinister::
Me: Oh. That's disturbing. I love it!
Melody: Great! Now stop whining and freaking finish Act 3!
Me: But I'll have to talk about this much earlier-
Melody: Finish. Act. 3.
Me: Right. Then revise.
Melody: Good writer! Go write...